


harder to hide

by honeypottrap



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: F/M, Lap Dances, Misunderstandings, Relationship Reveal, Rule 63, Secret Relationship, always a girl!auston
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-13 21:54:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16480451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeypottrap/pseuds/honeypottrap
Summary: “Yeah.” She says easily as anything, shrugging. “But, I mean. Not if you’re so against the idea.”“No,” Zach blurts. “I mean. If you’re offering, I’d. Yes. Absolutely.”“Christ.” Someone mutters, and Zach would be a lot more embarrassed about how hopelessly into Auston Matthews he was if she wasn’t beaming at him that very moment, bright and happy and smug.Unsurprisingly, the entire world knows he’s into her. Worse things have happened.





	harder to hide

**Author's Note:**

  * For [somehowunbroken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowunbroken/gifts).



> this takes place during the 2017-18 season because 1) i miss william nylander and 2) i havent had the time to follow hockey this season & hc new team dynamics.
> 
> Somehowunbroken, I really hope you enjoy this! <3

Watching her leave is always the hardest part.

“You sure you don’t want to stick around, get a ride over?” Zach asks as he sits up, even though he already knows the answer. It can’t hurt to ask.

“Nah,” Auston sighs, pulling on a loose pair of shorts that hang low on her hips. “I have to get changed, grab a few things.”

Zach hums in affirmation, watching the smooth, practiced motions of Auston gathering her stuff, pulling on the soft shirt that’d been cast onto the floor behind Zach’s couch.

“Alright.” Auston declares, dropping her head to press a kiss to the corner of Zach’s mouth before straightening up, grabbing her glasses from the side table. “I’ll see you later tonight?” She asks, pushing them up the bridge of her nose, and Zach has to stop himself from trying to kiss her again.

“Yeah, absolutely.”

“Good.” Auston says, staring at him in the low light with a soft smile, and Zach echoes it-- tries to not spend too much time thinking about her after she leaves.

* * *

 

It seems silly, but Zach can’t stop the dumb smile from spreading over his face when he arrives to find Auston already at Naz’s apartment. He doesn’t _exactly_ make a beeline towards where she’s talking with Mitch, but his conversation with the group in the entryway is maybe a bit briefer than usual. Maybe.

Mitch spots him first and slaps him on the back. “Happy birthday, man! We were just talking about you,” he adds, widening his eyes, and Zach suppresses an eyeroll in favor of taking the excuse to turn his attention to Auston.

“Hey,” Auston says warmly, and Zach can feel the heat bloom in his chest.

“Hey.” Zach repeats, and he can’t help the smile from overtaking his face. He knows he’s fallen far, far too quickly.

“Long time no see,” She starts, irony tangible in her voice, but Mitch interjects before she can go any further.

“You saw him _yesterday_.” Mitch emphasizes, rolling his eyes, and Zach and Auston share a meaningful look.

“Not recent enough,” Auston falsely gripes, and Zach nods, completely straight-faced. The moment’s broken when Auston waggles her eyebrows and Zach has to hide his cough in a laugh. Mitch glances between them, amused.

“Right.” Mitch agrees, and puts a hand on Zach’s arm. “You haven’t gotten a drink yet, have you? There’s some good stuff in the dining room, I’ll show you--” He says, not quite dragging Zach away. Zach lets himself be pulled, lets Mitch stop him in the hallway with an excited grin.

“So,” Mitch starts, faux-casually, and Zach tilts his head, prompting him to go on.

“Feelin’ lucky tonight? There’s no _way_ that wasn’t an in.” Mitch says, far too invested for his own good, and Zach presses down the smile, shrugs his shoulders instead.

“You think so?”

“I’m pretty sure I see it. She likes you a lot, man.”

“She said something?” Zach asks, not having to fake a hopeful tone, and Mitch pauses.

“Well, not in so many words, but--” Mitch starts, and Zach shakes his head.

“Mitch,” Zach warns, not thrilled at the implication of some implicit go-ahead, and Mitch makes a face, but quickly drops the subject, lets him get back to the party.

* * *

 

Zach’s had drinks shoved at him and been pulled into enough raunchy conversations that, ultimately, it’s not a surprise that someone would have the bright idea to take him to a strip club.

“Come on, man!” Naz wheedles, knocking their cups in a clear attempt to get him to drink more. “It’s your birthday, you deserve something special.”

“I think I’ll pass on that.” Zach says, trying not to sound too dismissive. There’s no way for Naz to know just how _not-interested_ he is in that kind of celebration. There’s just a question of what it’ll take to get Naz to drop it.

“You should loosen up-- you know, it’d probably help, getting all danced up on.” Naz wheedles, determination made stronger by the drinks he’s had.

“Not interested.” Zach repeats, trying to keep it firm but casual. It doesn’t seem to be convincing enough out loud, and Zach opens his mouth to reiterate. “I really don’t--”

“Even if it were from me?” Auston interrupts, teasing note evident in her voice, and Zach’s head snaps up to look at her as she steps into the conversation, movements loose and relaxed. Mitch lets her step in front of him and turns to Zach, eyebrows raised towards his hairline.

 _Holy shit_ , Mitch mouths. Zach understands the feeling.

“I, uh. You--” Zach stammers, and her smile grows. “...Really?” he finishes weakly. There’s no doubt in his mind he’s more than a bit flushed.

“Yeah.” She says easily as anything, shrugging. “But, I mean. Not if you’re so against the idea.”

“ _No_ ,” Zach blurts, far too loud, then immediately backpedals. “I mean. If _you’re_ offering, I’d. Yes. Absolutely.” He’s apparently dealing with a sudden inability to parse words into a sentence, but Auston seems unbothered, her smile only growing more cocky.

“Christ.” Naz mutters, and Zach would be a lot more embarrassed about how hopelessly into Auston Matthews he was if she wasn’t beaming at him that very moment, bright and happy and smug.

On his other side, Mitch raises his eyebrows and gives Zach a thumbs up-- followed by another motion of his hands that Zach gracefully averts his eyes from, struggling to keep a straight face. Unsurprisingly, the entire world knows he’s into her.

Worse things have happened.

“Well?” Auston says, and starts into the living room. Zach has no choice but to follow, trailing closely behind. She settles easily onto the couch and stretches, and Zach sits down next to her, acutely aware of his heartbeat through the anticipation.

Someone changes the music on the iPod, settling on something slow and heavy, but it’s not enough to stop the rest of the conversations. It’s a semblance of privacy, if only for now, Zach supposes, and that’s the thought that kicks his mind back into gear. He moves to subtly brushes a few fingers against the pulse in Auston’s wrist, catching her attention.

“You feeling okay?” He asks quietly, and the corner of Auston’s lips turn up. “This is kind of out-there. Not sure we can play this one off.”

“Just buzzed. _Relax_ , I want to do this.” Auston says, and shrugs. “Think of it as me making the first move. It’ll be fun.” she adds, winking, and Zach scoffs lightly.

“‘Fun’. Well, _obviously_ \--” He starts, and Auston takes that opportunity to swing a leg over his thighs, lightly eases her weight over him. Zach lets out a quick breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Auston grins. “Doing alright there?”

“I’m doing fantastic.” Zach says truthfully as he shifts his hips slightly, pointedly ignoring the quick glance down she spares him.

“Good.” Auston says, and leaves it at that. “You comfortable?”

“Sure.” Zach says, and settles backward, widening his knees slightly. Auston smirks, pushing a palm into his chest until his spine is flat against the back of the couch. She’s barely touching him, but Zach isn’t surprised by how pinned he feels by it.

Someone wolf whistles, and Auston takes it in stride, easing her weight over him to straddle his thighs.

“You sure you’re okay with this?” Zach says, poking a finger under her chin to tilt her face up, to look at him. “I know you were worried about people finding out too soon, talking.”

Auston scrunches her nose up, lightly knocks his hand away. “We weren’t sure we’d work, right? I think it’s safe to say we passed that point a while ago.”

“Perhaps,” Zach hums. Auston fits into his life so _easily_ , so incredibly, and it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to him. It’s hard to remember why he’d ever thought they wouldn’t work out.

“Now it’s just a matter of finding the right time to bring it up, and, well--”

She starts rolling her hips, and Zach’s breath catches briefly in his chest at the sensation. Auston’s working a slow rhythm in time with the music, and Zach can distinctly hear Jake’s “ _holy shit, what_ ” above Willy’s laughter, Mitch’s cheer.

“--Now is as good a time as any.” She says with a mischievous smile, and Zach idly remembers that he’s fallen in love with her. It’s not as scary a concept as he’d always expected it to be, not as blindsiding. Admittedly, it’s getting harder to not say anything.

“Maybe now Mitch will stop bothering you about making a move.” Auston adds, the corners of her mouth twitching up as she threads her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Speaking of-- nice hat, by the way.” Zach says, nodding at the Red Bull snapback. “It looks better on you.” He says truthfully.

“Not sponsored,” Auston says, pushing it higher on her forehead, and Zach’s chuckle cuts off into a groan as she eases her hips closer, his hands automatically scrambling at the armrests for something to ground himself with.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Zach swears, practically dizzy with her scent.

“You wanna touch? You can,” She practically purrs.

“You don’t think that’d be too much?”

“Well, I guess if you don’t want to…,” she says noncommittally, teeth glinting in the low light as she grinds down particularly rough. Zach’s hesitancy runs out approximately ten seconds later.

“Fuck this,” Zach swears, and gets his hands on her ass, thumbs digging into the waistband of the grey sweatpants stretched over her hips. Auston sighs near-silently, pressing into it and dropping her head slightly. It’s a bit rough and dry, certainly not what Zach’d usually go for, but in the moment it feels better than anything-- Zach feels like he’s getting away with something. He’s certainly feeling the rush of adrenaline from the way everyone can see the way they’re acting, but there’s also the rush from the way Auston’s looking at him. She bites her lip when he catches her eye.

“Goddamnit,” Auston curses, sounding a little breathless. “If you don’t stop me, I’m going to kiss you right now.”

That’s all that Zach wants right now, and he knows she’s not lying about being drunk, but--

“Right here? Are you sure?” He asks, eyes searching, and Auston nods almost desperately, eyes sincere. Zach’s gaze drops to her lips.

Auston makes an almost-pained noise, and then she’s twisting around the snapback-- Zach only has a few seconds to appreciate how good _that_ looks before she’s leaning forward, pressing her lips to his.

It’s not a very good first-public kiss, because she immediately opens her mouth like she’s desperate for it, the way they _both_ are, and that’s an opportunity that Zach never takes for granted, deepening the kiss until she pulls back, breathing rough. He stares at her flushed cheeks and tries not to look as utterly starstruck as he feels. Auston opens her mouth first.

“Oops,” she says, chest heaving, and Zach opens his mouth to chuckle, to say something intelligible--

“We should leave.” Is the suggestion that comes out, and Auston blinks at him, visibly amused.

“Leave your party,” She repeats, skeptical.

“Well, I’m not going to grind off on you right here, unlike _some people_ \--” Zach starts, pointedly resting a hand on her upper thigh where she’s just barely circling her hips, tensing and untensing. It’s driving him crazy.

“ _Hey_ ,” Auston squawks, falsely indignant as she shoves lightly at his shoulder. “You don’t have a leg to stand on, here--”

But then Freddie’s there, hoisting Auston off his lap with surprising strength, and Jake’s pushing at his shoulder, talking loudly directly into his ear.

“ _Okay_ , that’s enough birthday dancing for tonight, I think-- Mo’s in the kitchen, don’t you want to talk to him?”

“I--” Zach starts, but he’s already being hauled away. Auston catches his eye over Freddie’s shoulder, wiggling her eyebrows and mouthing something he can’t make out. He can’t keep the dumb smile off his face, even as Jake pretends not to notice him adjusting his hardon while they talk. Auston’s gorgeous. There’s no way anyone could blame him for that.

“How’re you feeling? Had a bit too much to drink?” Mo asks when he settles his back against the counter to face him, looking cautious like he thinks Zach’s about to break. Zach’s not quite sure why that would be, exactly, but he figures his and Auston’s relationship is surprising enough to warrant some uncertainty. They’d both recognized that it would be catastrophic for the team if they’d end up on anything except good terms. Mo’s right to be worried, considering what he knows.

“I’m feeling great,” Zach says, far too honestly, and downs a gulp of the water Jake passes him. His lips still taste a bit like the shitty beer Auston’d been working through earlier. The thought makes his mouth run dry almost immediately. His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he pulls it out to check.

_[Auston]_

_this s the funniest thnig ever_

_freds defending u jsut like “he didnt mean it, men are just stupid. you shld forgive him dnt let it ruin ur friendship”_

_SHE THINKS I HAVE TO LET U DOWN EASY_

Zach snorts, begins a reply, and Mo looks over from his hushed conversation with Jake.

“Who are you trying to reach?”

“Auston.” Zach says, offhand, and Jake makes a noise that makes Zach look up, take notice.

“Maybe think about what you’re going to say, first.” Mo says carefully, and Zach lowers his phone.

 _now shes talking abt her wife lmao_ , comes a new message from Auston, and Zach can’t help but smile. _theyre so sweet & in love._

 _They really are_ , Zach responds carefully after rejecting his first instinctual message. It’s probably a good thing he’s not drunk.

“I think you should stay with me, tonight.”

“I was just gonna go back to mine,” Zach starts, but something in Jake’s expression stops him. They’re worried about it too, Zach realizes, even if they have the wrong idea, and, well. Maybe he _does_ have something he needs to talk through.

“Just stay at my place tonight. We’ll get this figured out-- you don’t wanna fuck this up,” Jake says bluntly, then winces slightly. “Not that I’m saying you will, it’s just--”

“--Risky. Yeah,” Zach agrees, and Jake nods in relief and calls an Uber.

* * *

 

The cons don’t hit him until he’s in the back of the car, absently looking out the window, when he gets a snapchat from Auston.

 _meet me back @ yours for your surprise_ , it says with a picture of Auston’s outfit-- her shirt unbuttoned, collar exposed. Zach’s eyes immediately zero in on the edges of black lace peeking out, and he stifles a groan. _Damn it_.

_Fuck_

_They’re making me go back to Jake’s_

_Relationship advice crash course_

_://////_

_dude_

_I know, I’m sorry_

_I’ll see u tomorrow morning_

_Raincheck?_

_youre lucky i like you_

_guess ill just get myself off :/_

Zach closes his eyes and gently knocks his forehead into the window. Not the best time to need to think things through, he thinks with a small amount of guilt.

Jake pulls out a bottle of wine and three glasses when they get back, but he doesn’t push Zach to say anything, just lets the practiced routine of video games and friendly chirping commence, though the atmosphere is muted, expectant.

Jake ends up going to bed not too soon after, though Zach has a feeling it’s more to contribute to the comfort of having fewer people-- there’s not many people more trustworthy or welcoming than Mo.

* * *

 

Even so, it's about half an hour down an NHL18 spiral when Zach finally feels ready enough. Zach has no idea how late it is, how much longer he can stay awake, but it’s something he needs to get off his chest.

“I’m in love with her.” Zach says truthfully, finally able to voice the words, but Mo doesn’t look surprised, just taken aback by his bluntness. He pauses the game to listen, sets the controller down carefully.

It’s a bit easier, now that he’s started talking.

“We’ve talked about it-- er, not _that_ , but. About a relationship, whether it would work. How it would work. What we would do if it failed and what that would mean for the team.” Zach says slowly, thoughtfully. “We spent such a long time thinking about why we shouldn’t.”

Mo nods. “Understandable. That’s not all there is to it, though.” He says, and Zach reads his cue loud and clear.

“Thinking about why we _should_ is a lot less concrete, but, well.” Zach pauses, takes a deep breath. He doesn’t understand why he’s short of breath _now_ of all times-- he’s _already_ said it. “I love her.”

It sits in the air, heavy.

“So we’re giving it a shot,” Zach admits, shrugging. “I know it’s a risk, but. It’s what we both want.”

Mo tilts his head slightly, thinking. “Okay. Thank you for telling me. It sounds like you two know what you’re doing. We were worried earlier, with the--” Mo makes a vague hand motion, and Zach can’t help but crack a grin. “But you sound like you have it under control.”

Mo stands, pulling a throw blanket off the back of the couch. “And with that, I think I’m going to sleep. Wake me if you need anything-- another blanket, to talk-- I’ll be just down the hall.”

* * *

 

Zach wakes up not too long after sunrise, the couch a bit too uncomfortable to make the thought of going back sleep realistic. He downs a glass of water in the kitchen before dressing to leave. Mo catches him in the entryway as he’s shrugging his jacket on.

“Heading home?” He asks, but he doesn’t sound angry. Zach’s not quite sure how obvious it is, how much Mo realizes from last night, but he figures the truth is worth a shot.

“I was gonna go over to Auston’s, actually.” Zach says quietly after a pause, and Mo’s eyes soften.

“It’ll be alright. She’ll understand.”

“Um, yeah. I hope so.” Zach says, not too awkwardly, and ducks out the door with a brief nod. It’s early enough that it’s still a bit cold, and Zach inhales deeply, taking a second to appreciate the streets of Toronto tinged with the early golden sunlight.

Zach’s apartment is warmer than usual when he gets back, the thermostat set five degrees warmer than it usually is, so it’s not a complete surprise when he finds Auston sprawled on top of the covers of his bed, wearing nothing but a pair of his boxers. That alone would usually get him good, but there’s something that keeps him centered on his mind, on Auston, that stops him from feeling anything but a little wistful, a little lovesick. He does his best to shut the door quietly, but she still stirrs sleepily.

“Z?” She asks, voice rough, and Zach makes a noise of affirmation. There’s a pile of lace near the foot of the bed that he doesn’t look too closely at, choosing instead to smile wryly at the mussed spread of Auston’s hair over the pillow.

“Mm, come back to bed,” Auston yawns, and Zach shucks his clothes to curl into her arms, chest to chest, skin to skin. Auston’s always so warm-- he breathes into her hair and sinks into the drowsy, satisfying heat. Zach’s not sure how long he lies there, not tired enough to sleep but not awake enough to care.

“Want me to get you off?” Auston asks at some point, eyes still shut.

Zach shakes his head into her neck, pulls her closer. “You don’t have to. This is good.” He says truthfully

“M’kay. Love you.” Auston mumbles into the side of the pillow, the corner of her lips turning up into a smile. She presses a kiss to his shoulder before he can respond, rolling over and falling asleep again almost immediately.

Zach’s chest is still warm with it when he finally dozes off.

**Author's Note:**

> this will most likely be my last fic for a while. i've needed to step away from it (i think my rustiness shows). not exactly the end-- ive still got a few loose ends to tie up, one last spitefic to write-- but probably Soon(TM).
> 
> [tumblr](https://zaitseev.tumblr.com/)


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